Traash-Transcript

Kidd's Navigator
Captain, we caught something in the hyper-dredge.
Captain Kidd
Aha. I love to go fishing. See what we've caught. Reel it in!
Squeegie
Booty!
Kidd's Navigator
Alien spacecraft... Ah, just a small one.
Captain Kidd
Check the ship directory, let's see what we've got.
Squeegie
Shake your Booty-
Kidd's Navigator
Uh-oh
Captain Kidd
What?
Kidd's Navigator
A Traash fighter!
Captain Kidd
The Traash!
Squeegie
Oh no!
Captain Kidd
Get rid of it; send it back into hyperspace!
Kidd's Navigator
Too late, captain. It's firing at us!
Squeegie
Uh-oh
Captain Kidd
Emergency procedure. Get us out of here while there still only one ship.
Squeegie
Hurry! Hurry!
Captain Kidd sounding like poe-ugh
Invasion fleet! Initiate hypershunt!
Kidd's Navigator
Where to, Captain?
Captain Kidd
Anywhere, as long as it's not here. Drop a cluster of anit-matter bombs. We'll leave the Traash a present. Initiate hypershunt now. --- Aaagh, where are we going?
Kidd's Navigator
Uh, I don't know...driftspace coordinates are damaged. I think we're heading into human space."
Captain Kidd
Human space? Oh good. Quick, raise the League colors. Aaagh, what's that?
Kidd's Navigator
It's a ship, sir.
Captain Kidd
A ship? Left! Right! Aaagh!
Squeegie
help! ooh!
Captain Kidd
Aagh
some Ranger male human voice
Pressure normal, return to stations.
Commander Ned Blade
What the..?? @#!%#@! Those fools rammed my ship!
some Ranger
It's a ship called the Iron Falcon, Sir. They have a fire emergency and seek assistance.
Commander Ned Blade
The Iron Falcon! That's captain Kidd and his band outlaws. What are they doing in human space?
Captain Kidd
Hmm hmm.
Commander Ned Blade
You crazed birn headed bandit! What do you think you're doing?
Captain Kidd
Crazed? Birn headed?
Commander Ned Blade
You're under arrest.
Captain Kidd
For what?
Commander Ned Blade
For whatever I can dig out of the computer files.
Captain Kidd
But human! The Traash are coming! The Traash are invaiding this sector of space!
Commander Ned Blade
Traash? What's he talking about?
some Ranger
I've no idea.
Commander Ned Blade
Get that mutated chicken up here! Ok, Kidd, start squawking.
Captain Kidd
Very little is known about the Traash expept that they tolerate no other life-forms in their sector of space.
Commander Ned Blade
Well, what are they doing out here?
Captain Kidd
Ah --- One got caught in my hyper dredge. Then their fleet came.
Commander Ned Blade
How did you escape?
Captain Kidd
We fooled em, we dropped antimatter bombs to cover our escape.
Commander Ned Blade
That's a good one.
Captain Kidd
The queen of the crown is so afraid of the Traash, that her fleets never engage them.
Commander Ned Blade
What does this Traash want?
Captain Kidd
Impossible to say. They are an insect species. They swarm and they exterminate all other forms of life.
Commander Ned Blade
What!?
Captain Kidd
In the Traash sectors of space, there exists no life but the Traash themselves.
Commander Ned Blade
And you brought them here!
Captain Kidd
Ohhh!
Commander Ned Blade
Get me BETA mountain on the freeway!
Captain Kidd
Ohh, they're here!
some Ranger
Commander Blade, an unidentified alien fleet has appeared in the system.
Commander Ned Blade
You're in big trouble bird. Go to condition red. Battle stations!
some Ranger
Sir, we estimate one thousand ships.
Commander Ned Blade
FIRE!
Shane Gooseman
This is Galaxy Ranger Gooseman.
Commander Ned Blade
All right!
% You're before?
Shane Gooseman
Ranger interceptor is closing in. --- All fighters, hold your position. Elma, lock in target.
Elma
Target locked.
Commander Joseph Walsh
Ranger 1, you're to rendezvous with the Commanche. Interceptor squadron has the dreadnaught covered.
Niko
The Traash fleet is huge.
Walter 'Doc' Hartford
We're completely outnumbered. That's where we come in, right?
Commander Joseph Walsh
It's a stalemate. It's crazy form them, just to attack us like this without provocation. We have to find a way to communicate before we annihilate each other.
Niko
We have the mindnet device. We'll try to achieve a mindlink with the Traash high command.
Walter 'Doc' Hartford
I get it. We're gonna force them to talk to us, even if they don't want to.
Commander Joseph Walsh
The Andorians think the Traash have never communicated with another lifeform.
Walter 'Doc' Hartford
Oh great! So we're gonna be the first. We either make history, or ...
Niko
... we'll never come back.
Walter 'Doc' Hartford
I should be getting used to this by now. When you got a mission that's totally impossible just send for the Galaxy Rangers!
Niko
Initiating hyperjump. Now.
Walter 'Doc' Hartford
The Traash!
Zach
We'll have to outrun them.
Niko
Traash fighters closing in.
Zach
Take evasive action.
Shane Gooseman
This is the ranger interceptor group. We got you covered. Hold tight guys.
Walter 'Doc' Hartford
Congrats my Gooseman, that was good shooting!
Shane Gooseman
All in a day's work, Doc.
Niko
The frigate Commanche up ahead.
Zach
They're readying a space deck for us. Give him our BETA security code, Doc.
Walter 'Doc' Hartford
Right, captain.
Zach
We got here as fast as we could. It's been pretty hot out here by all reports.
Commander Ned Blade
You can say that again.
Niko
Commander Walsh has briefed us on our mission. We're to make contact with the Traash high command.
Commander Ned Blade
I just got the orders concerning the mission over the deep space hyperlink.
Zach
BETA believes that if we can just break through the frontlines and make contact with the Traash, we can stop the fighting.
Commander Ned Blade
Well, we've targeted the Traash high command in a System near Spica. Take a look. Their flag ship is nine miles wide. We're going in on a diversionary attack. While the Traash are busy dealing with that, we'll drop you guys off on the top of the flagship.
Captain Kidd
Let go of me, swinedogs! Galaxy Rangers! I heard you were here.
Zach
Well, Captain Kidd.
Commander Ned Blade
Arrest that bird.
Captain Kidd
No wait. Here. Traash Warriors.
Walter 'Doc' Hartford
He! Get me the phone. I need to call the exterminator.
Niko
That's exactly the problem, Doc. We're such alien species to each other that the first thing we think of is extermination. That's why we have to talk to them.
Captain Kidd
Yeah, well I tried that once and I...
Zach
You communicated with the Traash!
Captain Kidd
Well, only the warriors. Why are you looking at me like that?
Walter 'Doc' Hartford
You escaped from the Traash?
Niko
I thought no one even talked with them.
Captain Kidd
I did! But a long time ago.
Zach
Kidd, you're coming with us.
Captain Kidd
Oh. Me and my big beak. I was lucky to escape, I squawked my way out. You can't do this to me.
Squeegie
Never, never, never!
Commander Ned Blade
Oh yeah? We'll see about that.
Niko
But Captain Kidd, you're the only one who has ever seen a Traash warrior.
Commander Ned Blade
I'll pound your ship and arrest your crew.
Captain Kidd
Oh. I, ... The Traash warriors are demons in battle.
Niko
Now that's something I'm curious about. How did you ever manage to escape?
Captain Kidd
I listened to the command Traash. They used a pattern of whistles to control the warriors workers, like this. (whistles) Like a lovesick teenager.
Walter 'Doc' Hartford
... or a saxophone having a toothpull.
Captain Kidd
So I imitated the command whisles. I escaped while the command Traash were still fighting their own warriors.
Walter 'Doc' Hartford
Well, you'll just have to whistle while we work.
Zach
Captain Kidd, let's go. We've got a date with the Traash high command.
Captain Kidd
Ohhhh.
Commander Ned Blade
The battle pods will get you onto the outer hull of the flagship. From there, you're on your own.
Zach
Thanks Ned, we're ready.
Walter 'Doc' Hartford
Just get us to the drop point, Commander, we'll do the rest. Right Kidd?
Captain Kidd
Hey, where is Squeegie?
Squeegie
Hmm, hee he.
some Ranger
Coordinates fixed. Approaching Spica system.
Commander Ned Blade
Here we go. There it is. All batteries stand by. Decellerate. We've got one chance for the drop.
some Ranger
Three, two, one...
Commander Ned Blade
NOW!
Zach
Let's go. We don't wanna hang around out here.
Captain Kidd
If the Traash are going to hyperspace now ...
Niko
...we become disassociated subatomic particles.
Shane Gooseman
Just as the Andorians predicted. This sector is outside the life support zone. No atmosphere, so no alarms when we cut the hull.
Walter 'Doc' Hartford
Kidd, don't you ever take exercise?
Captain Kidd
Eh --- my wife has a million things that need to be done at home.
Zach
Follow me. This leads to the central section. There's air inside, should be a little musty, but breathable.
Captain Kidd
I'll be glad to get this helmet off.
Walter 'Doc' Hartford
Step back, folks. Pathfinder, show time.
Pathfinder
Let me at it!
Walter 'Doc' Hartford
Huh. Traash don't waste money on interior decor, do they?
Niko
I doubt they even think of it. Oh oh. Lifeforms are ahead.
Shane Gooseman
Take cover.
Captain Kidd
Traash worriers.
Walter 'Doc' Hartford
And you're gonna make them blow over with a whistle?
Captain Kidd
Oh --- they're the workers!
Shane Gooseman
Why don't they attack?
Captain Kidd
They're not programmed to. They didn't even sense us. As far as they're concerned, we aren't there! The high command. Stand back, watch me now. I will blow the whistle and paralyze them. (whistles)
Niko
I suggest, Captain Kidd, that you try your command whistle again. Perhaps in a lower key? There are more warriors coming from the other direction!
Captain Kidd
Aw! This is a different fleet!
Zach
Kidd, hurry it up or we're bug food.
Niko
Perhaps you should try a higher key. --- Not that either.
Captain Kidd
It's hard to concentrate.
Walter 'Doc' Hartford
Boy these boys are in for a surprise when they eat Zachery. Running low on ammo.
Niko
Hey, Captain Kidd, do that again.
Captain Kidd
Oh, well.
Niko
No, higher.
Zach
Ok, why they're sleeping, let's get to those controls. Keep whisteling! Doc, hit those computers. See what you can do to close those doors.
Walter 'Doc' Hartford
Pathfinder, Tripwire, interaction.
Pathfinder
You got it, Doc.
Shane Gooseman
Phew, that's a relief.
Walter 'Doc' Hartford
Gooseman, you have no idea just how much of a relief. If you'd become one of them permanently, I ...
Shane Gooseman
Don't bug me Doc.
Niko
According to Waldo, this has a 50\% chance of working. But it's the only hope we've got of finding out how they think.
Zach
Niko, this is one delicate job I'm glad to leave in your hands.
Shane Gooseman
Hey guys, hurry it up. I hear something coming.
Walter 'Doc' Hartford
What are they saying?
Zach
I don't know, but here comes trouble.
Shane Gooseman
Use your thunderbold, Zach! Kidd, start puckering.
Captain Kidd
How is Niko?
Zach
No change.
Captain Kidd
Niko, are you there?
Niko
Yes.
Zach
What is it?
Niko
The fear. The terrible fear. Of all other life. All life is dangerous!
Captain Kidd
Is she communicating with them?
Walter 'Doc' Hartford
By the sound of it, yes.
Niko
Oh. The fear. The two leg things, they are terrible, terrible. They will attack. Always the two leg things attack.
Zach
Sounds as if the Andorians were right: the Traash live in fear of other lifeforms.
Walter 'Doc' Hartford
We're the two leg things, right? Let's see: one, two.
Zach
They're as afraid of us as we are of them.
Walter 'Doc' Hartford
Captain, we found the Traash databank. Their computers are pretty old fashinoed. Programming is virtually antique bubblehead.
Zach
Can you isolate this chamber? Niko could use a little more time.
Walter 'Doc' Hartford
I think so. You tweakers, hit the security codes!
Niko
We mean you no harm. We're a peacefull race. There are many systems in the galaxy, you don't need ours.
the Traash
You offer peace?
Niko
We do not have to fight.
the Traash
But the two leg things attack.
Niko
We will destroy you, if we have to. We're strong. You will only decimate your species. Let us have peace instead.
the Traash
Peace. Hmm. The war has cost us many ships. Many warriors are missing.
Niko
Open your mind to mine. You will know that we bring you the truth.
the Traash
We will do this. Begin. --- Never have we known peace.
Niko
Than stop the fighting.
the Traash
This peace is something we have dreamed of. But always the other things attacked us.
Niko
They were frightened of you. If you accept peace, than other species will leave you alone.
the Traash
Ouuhh, ouuhh. Ouuhh, ouuuhh, ouuhh. It will be done.
all
Ouuhh, ouuhh, ouuuhh.
Walter 'Doc' Hartford
Now I've seen everything.
Niko
Well, Captain Kidd, not a bad day's work.
Captain Kidd
I think I lost weight.
Squeegie
You're still tubby.
Commander Ned Blade
Zach, what about recruiting Kidd for the Galaxy Rangers?
Zach
What do you say Kidd?
Captain Kidd
Well, I can blow the whistle on the whole operation.
Walter 'Doc' Hartford
No! Please! Anything but that.